Three Weeks In

I was convinced that the best way to learn was to throw myself into the deep end of whatever technology was being hosted, to become an “expert” of it all. I wanted to learn anything and everything from full-stack engineering, UI/UX, IT, corporate infrastructure, product security, and IT security. I wanted to learn ROIs, EBITDA, lead generation, and if I had time, Microsoft Excel. I wanted to be a 23-year-old big fish. All in less than a month. Within three weeks, I kept bragging about the cool startup I worked at because of its open office layout, the brick walls, and the ridiculous amount of IPAs that were in the fridge being consumed Wednesday through Friday. I was so up in my own head I thought I could build and run a business by myself and make my first billion with the right VCs. I’m glad that startup humbled me. While I have a love/hate relationship with startups, the one thing I can always appreciate is the ability to make someone feel like anyone.

Three Years In

After three years in tech, I have cried tears of joy, rage, and have been put in my place more times than I can count. I was learning things like automated IT deployments, lazy bash scripting, and understanding stock trends immediately after earnings calls. At 26, I still had the ego my 23-year-old self had but at least had some battle scars to show for it. I made it then, and I’m still making it. I was still obsessed with my career, and I wanted to be the real-life version of Tyrell Wellick. Then the pandemic happened. Being forced to stay home and readjust to a life of not seeing my coworkers every day changed something in me. I wondered if I could still work as hard and still be recognized as a top performer even if I was working from home. I wondered if I was still considered a valuable employee even if I wasn’t wearing some ugly pantsuit. After my previous company laid off my fellow colleagues, I realized that I wasn’t obsessed with my career, I was obsessed with the company I worked for whose shareholders would sleep like babies when people were losing their means of livelihood.

Three Companies Later

Three job changes later, I’ve realized that I was focused on the wrong things. I am still focused on myself, but I’m focused on my career. It doesn’t matter where or who, but I’m finally realizing that the work truly speaks for itself. I learned that my work speaks for itself when it’s built to be sustainable with the technology and end user in mind. I don’t settle for short-sighted solutions. I’ve been privileged to be able to continue my career on my terms and understand that not everyone (especially now) do not have that same luxury. For those who are struggling with this shithole of a job market, I can only provide my full support with links (below) that may help you with your job search. If you’re in my current position now, let this serve as a reminder that while we’re privileged, you still have you and your work speaks for itself. I still don’t know what EBITDA is.