While this year has been another year of digging ourselves out of whatever shithole we somehow fell into, there’s always conference season to look forward to. As a security professional, there are several conferences that I lean into (sometimes attend), and every year, Defcon and BlackHat come up with things that amaze me.

If you’re wondering, no I didn’t attend this year. But I did look into Defcon’s hottest toys, and I have to say, I’m obsessed with Hak5’s O.MG Cable. This cable, without giving too much away, will allow a threat actor to deliver payloads on machines that take either USB-A or USB-C inputs. This device stays dormant until a payload is deployed, so it can also serve as a glorified laptop charging cable.

Another neat toy would be the Screen Crab, which silently captures screenshots and videos in 1080p on pretty much any screen. Take the screen you’re reading from, for example. If it’s plugged into a monitor, there could be an inconspicuous dongle hanging from it, taking a video of whatever you’re doing, and you would never know.

I’ve never attended BlackHat, but it did gain some bad press due to some (cough) problematic vendor marketing decisions. During a happy hour, Palo Alto Networks thought they could launch a successful PR campaign using female-identifying models with lampshades over their heads. I mean… I guess? I don’t see it. Say what you will about dark, dry, bland humor, but you couldn’t land this joke even if Elon Musk paid for it, pissed on it, and set it on fire.

Sadly, I have to say this, but PAN is probably going to get nothing but some bad press (but press nonetheless) and they’re going to get by mostly unscathed due to a few EVEN WORSE things. The first thing is Crowdstrike’s major catastrophe not more than two weeks ago that people in the industry are still reeling about, and two, well—weird, sexist crap has been nothing short of one of the industry’s largest open secrets. At least one tech giant has been put under scrutiny for sexism, sexual harassment, and retaliation. In 2022, there was at least one lawsuit every other month due to employees experiencing these nightmares.

Google has faced five different lawsuits, mostly on gender discrimination, underpaying temp workers, and racial discrimination. Their last lawsuit cost them $118 million. Match Group (parent company of Tinder) settled a lawsuit for $441 million following accusations of sexual misconduct and defamation. Finally, we couldn’t forget Activision’s $50 million settlement against sexual discrimination and underpaying female employees.

That being said, PAN will probably get a slap on the wrist, but here’s my message to those commenting things on LinkedIn like, “What if it were men, would people be as offended?” or “Yeah, but—” kindly, shut your fucking trap.