I was raised in a traditional Filipino home in the United States where I was taught three distinct values: blind obedience, the importance of cooking for your household, and being a good wife. TV and social groups taught me that being an angsty teenager who frequented Hot Topic was cool. Along with that, I was also told that going to college and having a successful career was something all good Filipino children should achieve. Two generations and two cultures clashed together like some cliché plot in a young adult novel.

In Filipino culture, there is often pressure on children to pursue careers in healthcare, construction, or administration. I had several cousins who became RNs, CNAs, and receptionists. While those paths were respectable, I never felt a sense of purpose in following them. I watched my cousins grow up and stay within these jobs, sometimes moving from one hospital to another, but one thing was for certain: we were all pitted against each other. Every family gathering turned into a showcase of each parent’s bragging about their children’s achievements and making passive-aggressive comments about their nieces’ and nephews’ shortcomings. It was seen as friendly competition, but at times, it was more malicious than that.

I grew up knowing that I didn’t want to follow in the footsteps of my cousins. Some of them went to college in the Philippines to become nurses, while others took courses at the local community college to get certifications. Some dropped out of high school, but parents don’t talk about that. When I went to college, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do; I just knew I had to be there. Those five (yes, I said five) years were a blur. I struggled with my identity as a young adult, finding ways to make money to pay for school, and dealing with the fact that college courses were nothing like high school classes. High school was easy; college math was not. I deliberately chose a different major, anything but healthcare. At that point in my life, it didn’t matter what I did as long as it wasn’t that. It wasn’t because I didn’t like nurses; it was because of the years of competition and constant comparison, all leading to the same destination. That wasn’t the end game for me.

I decided to take my career in a different direction – the Tech Industry. While that’s a broad term, everyone knows it as the industry where apps like Meta, Instagram, and TikTok were born, and where you can make six figures right out of college. Unfortunately, that’s not where the industry took me. I didn’t create the next big thing, and I certainly didn’t make six figures right out of school.

It’s safe to say that I intentionally and unintentionally became the family outlier and perhaps the family outcast because of the choices I made with my education and career. If you’re looking into school or considering a career change in the Tech Industry, especially without an engineering background or as a woman or person of color, this might be the place for you.

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   In my mind the real perk of working for a startup is exposure to new things and growth potential. I…

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   Still love that movie.

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   I enjoy your writing style and voice. It’s compelling and personable.